I was doing the mom thing this week, and was at my local YMCA swimming pool. Kids love it. Good mommy. I saw a friend of mine who said while looking at some 18 year old swimming instructors in their suits, "Don't you just wish you could have a body like that again?"
Long pause.
Deep breath.
My response "I am working really hard right now in loving this body. Really hard."
Deep breath.
Long pause.
That was a conversation stopper if there ever was one. But it is true.
Over the following 24 hours I began to thank my body for all it has done in its nearly 39 years.
Competative judo, way too much alcohol in college, hiking in the Highlands of Scotland, a yoga practice, supporting 2 pregnancies and 2 years of breast feeding, running road races, a couple major surgeries, getting up in the morning, and for each breath I take. It is pretty amazing if you think about it. Even with abuse and neglect, the body just keeps on going.
I am happy that this friend asked me this question, it has helped me reflect on all the possible answers. So, now I will try to provide my answer. Do I wish I had that 18 year old body? No. Honestly. No. Because with that body comes the life of an 18 year old, living through my 20s again. Nope, don't want it. Thank you very much. Although I will admit to wanting to visit certain moments of my past, I truly don't want to live there.
So here is the part I am working on. I now believe that the only way to deal with "the weight issue" is to approach it with love and kindness. I no longer want to wish for something outside of myself. I no longer want to feel as though I am not enough. All of me. Head to toe, pound for pound. I am more than enough.
So thank you oh body my body. I am working on taking better care of you so we can have more adventures together for a long time.
