Bearing witness

Recently I have found that I am exhausted with life. Work, kids, house, family and friends. So much going on. So much to do. So much to listen to. I just want to put ear plugs in and sleep.

Then I began to wonder. What is it that is so exhausting? Is it the actual life events or is it my participation in it? To be clear, I am the type of person that likes to hear the stories. I like to help out, volunteer for projects. I am the person that you call with a life issue. I give advice. I analyze situations. OK, I may over analyze some (most) things. I solve problems. I am intrigued with psychology and what drives people to make the choices they make. Was it their family of origin? Were they a victim of abuse? Is their some manipulation going on? Passive aggressive behavior? How does one respond to that behavior? Could it have been done differently?

As you see--it is exhausting. My mind is always going. That little excerpt does not even begin to describe the thoughts always running around in my head about my own life. My own family and work and choices and ....  Then one day while getting way too involved in someone else's issues  my therapist said to me --- "What if you just said to yourself---bear witness."

Bear witness. Sounds interesting. If I just listened. Without having to solve or fix. If I was just present with my loved one and reflected that I cared. 

Bear witness. So I tried in a few instances. It is difficult to do. There is part of me that wants to fix and solve and figure out. In reality though, I think people just want to be heard and accepted for who they are and what they are doing (even if I do not agree with their choices and actions). Every person just wants to know that they are unconditionally loved.  No matter what they do or what their story is.  So I do not need to fix or figure out anything. I do not need to analyze and explain I just need to be.

Be present.
No judgement.
Listen.
Breathe.
Bear Witness.